Part One of my Grand Manifesto for Resolving Conflict and Fighting Less is:
Be Less Certain
(This is the second version of this post – I started with a really expert-y one, with quotes and sections, and references. It was, as my old colleague Zoe might have said, lame-O. Be glad I pressed delete.)
So here’s my thinking.
Stuff happens.
We make conclusions about it.
We identify so strongly with those conclusions that we forget they’re not The Truth.
When someone has different conclusions (and especially when they attack ours) we react as if they are attacking us.
And everyone else is doing the same.
It seems to me that getting less certain might be a large part of not fighting.
And that waiting for others to change their mind and become less certain is the endless road to doom.
Things this triggers in my mind:
~Chris Argyris’ Ladder of Inference
~ the Quaker take on partial truth (Dad, can I interview you on Quaker stuff?)
~ that book on certainty I saw in Borders that I keep meaning to put on my wishlist for Christmas but am worried it might be too nerdy (like my family don’t know that already).
My task this week: Be Less Certain.
Hmmm… seems like this post isn’t either long nor expert-y enough. And not full of humorous provisional maybes enough.
Quick – time to click Publish.
Done.
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