A Peaceful Resolution » Noticings

I made a hat – Friday noticings

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:13:18 +0000

Because Fridays are for making enormous declarations about life lessons you’ve permanently learned pizza and telly noticing. I don’t make the rules…

On-topic noticings

~ Survival panic cannot be reasoned with

I was with a Person I Care About this week when they went into survival panic.

Some kind of wisdom helped me see that any kind of ‘Calm down’ vibes would have either no effect or a negative effect.

All I could think of to do was stay with them, present, listening to them talk it through as many times as they wanted, help them be in their body and wait for the adrenalin to leave.

Seems to just need a matter of time.

Anyone any other experiences to add?

~ Do you want some stuff on how to deal with people who are freaking out?

This made me think that maybe there might be room for me to put together some thoughts about how to help other people when they are freaking out.

I also notice that not a few people arrive here by googling things like, ‘How to help people when they are freaking out,’ so, you know, I can get a message sometimes. Interested or not? Any specific aspect particularly urgent/puzzling for you?

~ You can’t change a reaction whilst you’re having it

I am all up for defusing triggers. I spend a lot of my time doing just that – personal work (including Byron Katie’s Inquiry process, meditation and weirdo regression weirdness, not to mention all kinds of internal be-less-certain processes), so don’t get me wrong, it’s great.

What I really noticed this week is that very very often defusing an issue is a separate process from being in the middle of having that issue triggered. When you’re in it, it’s difficult to process it unless you’ve pre-processed it.

Right?

This is why a lot of my recent thoughts/work has been focusing on what to do when you’re in the reaction.

~ Worry comes from predictions

Yep, this one again.

We’ve had a weird week this week.

I have been pretty super-anxious at times – just a lot going on personally, professionally, and movey-to-newey-continentey. As I realised before, almost all of my anxiety comes from making predictions and believing them.

More practice at being-less-certain, methinks.

~ Dreamfeelingextrapolationbad

Several times in the past couple of weeks I have woken up from a dream with an emotion (anxiety, sadness…), then promptly forgotten that that feeling came from the dream and started looking around my life for what supported that emotion (What else am I anxious about? What else is making me sad?).

Hyuh.

Note to Future Self – it’s ok to feel stuff after you wake up from a dream AND the reason you’re feeling it is that something in the dream triggered it.

~ I hold a lot of tension as a defence against the world

I was flicking through a book on piano practice this week and they mentioned the Rosen method. I have no idea what this is (I’ve yet to google it) but even the description made me realise just how much tension I habitually hold in my body out of defence against the world.

Just noticing so far…

~ Have to keep an eye on how changing circumstances affect your capacity

In my continuing battle to have goals that are do-able by a human being (remember if this were only my real life?), I have been working hard to notice how much my capacity is flexing as more and more variables landed in our laps in the past 10 days.

I’m not doing too bad, but I did have to send a couple of emails saying, You know that thing I said I’d do? I can only do this much…’

Progress, though, right?

Meta-blogging Noticings

~ Comments – you learn stuff!

I totally learned stuff from your comments on the 10 beliefs of interrupters and especially in the one about the purpose of conversation. Zowee. I love comments even more now!

~ Writing my own stuff is a gasquizzlionoogol times easier than writing client stuff.

Eeee I’ve had to really motivate myself this week to squeeze the words out on client stuff. Hard.

In other news

~ I totally made a hat.

Yep. I totally did! You can ask me for the picture, if you like…

~ Fruit Reward TM

I have made a new reward system which makes word counts go by like that. More next week!

~ Sandra makes me laugh

As well as being a freakin Twitter-DM ROCK, Sandra is the person who has most consistently made me loudly guffaw in public.

She reminded me of the interrupting cow knock-knock joke this week. Makes me laugh every time, even if I just do it in my head.

Moooo!

~ Well-tempered Clavier

Like many amateur pianists before me, I have the intention to begin working through the Well-Tempered Clavier – preludes and fugues in all 24 keys. Let’s see how that goes… Just let me have my dream for a bit…

~ Dresden Files – oy.

In his new Dresden Files book, Jim Butcher has the most appallingly tension-filled first page of any book I’ve read in a long time. Especially if you’ve read the other twelve, which like a good fan-boy, I have. Some twice.

~ Check out Briana and Eileen’s new site.

The hopscotch distillery. Makes ya feel comfy, eh?

***

You?

Whatcha notice this week?

Big or small – half-baked or just ‘hi’ – splurge it in the comments.

***

Low-key knitted-in-the-round Friday Noticings

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 10:04:11 +0000

Because Fridays are for learning noticing.

On-topic noticing

Letters to my Future Self keep on working

You know that letter I sent to myself about going for a walk and closing the door quietly? Well, I received it again (mentally) today. Still works!

Yoga – love it!

I’ve been concerned for a while how unconnected I am to my body. Daily-ish Yin Yoga (slow, gentle postures held for five minutes) is really helping me to unwind tension in my body and somehow keep emotional stuff from stagnating. Subtle, but powerful. Plus – oy my back feels good.

Meta-blogging noticings

I feel like I should have more to say on a Friday…

It was easier to do a Friday round-up back in the day when I had a weekly project.

Focusing on one topic makes it blossom

I am learning a lot about interrupting, for example, as I think and notice how it works.

I have a Thing about selling to friends

Which I’m going to have to get past, I think, seeing as, well, I’m making stuff for you to buy.

Off-topic noticings and other stuff

~ She’s Out of My League – very sweet and gives hope to all fives in the world.

~ Toy Story 3 – Like a children’s horror movie. Very happy ending but jeez I cried and cried.

~ If you’re wanting to work on boundaries, check out Hiro’s Sovereignty Kindergarten. If I get a couple more sales of Do I Have A Thing, I’ll be there too.

~ Knitting in the round – who knew? So relaxing… But you need a marker to tell you you’ve done a row, otherwise it’s ‘Just a few more stitches…’ again and again…

~ If you’re doing Morning Pages, check out 750words.com for a way to do it effortlessly and with the typing. Loving it.

***

Noticing – it’s not just for me is it? No. It’s for you too.

Whatcha notice this week?

You just gotta ride it – Friday Noticings

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 11:49:15 +0000

Because Friday is for learning noticing.

On-topic noticings

I blogged quite a lot about my on-topic thoughts this week.

Especially about how worry comes from predictions, the role of permission and how important nourishment is.

~ Focusing on circumstances keeps me sane

Part of the genius of Jen Louden’s Satisfaction Finder is how she gets you to focus on what you can do on a normal day, not one when you are focused, brave and rested.

I’m really seeing the wisdom of checking in with what else is going on so I can sanity check my expectations of myself.

You know, like, in the week when we decide to move continents, don’t expect to be care-free and on top of my game.

~ Expecting drama reduces its impact

In a letter to myself, I reminded myself that in the next few weeks I would probably be feeling sad, scared, excited, overwhelmed.

And so I have been. I have a post written and ready on ‘Expecting the expected’ and this is part of it.

Predicting the reactions in advance really helps to keep things in perspective, even as they are happening.

In fact, telling S that I’m probably going to be crying quite a lot (I’m an easy cry) I think helps him to not freak out so much when I do.

Meta-blogging noticings

~ Edgy feels good

The fear post, the permission post and the nourishment post came from a different space from my normal posts. They came kind of out of my body in minutes, rather than being overly planned.

I realise that in addition to thoughts that have been polished in the tumbler of my mind (Like a wheel within a wheel…), you might also appreciate a bit of rawness. As evidenced by the comments!

Have I told you – I love comments?

I do.

~ I can’t wait

I am fucking brimming over with ideas for stuff to produce. I can’t wait to get going on it. October? Get your chequebook out.

In-other-news noticings

~ I love my elephant teapot

How can you not?

***

‘Noticing’ is just a less hard-core-demanding way of saying learning.

So what have you learned noticed this week?

Big News – Friday noticing

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 09:01:45 +0000

Because ordinarily Friday is for noticing, but, this week, it is for announcing.

In-other-news Announcement: We’re moving

Things changed this week (not horribly) in a way that made us question where we are living.

So we made a big ol’ list of pros and cons. As you do. Staying in Singapore or moving back to England for a bit were pretty much evenly balanced, emotionally speaking.

So we had to make a decision.

And we chose England.

For a morass of reasons, some of which include, for me:

~ I miss my family.
~ I want to regroup before Canada.
~ I want to make a go of this online thing, and we are in the right position to do it.
~ My reasons for moving to Singapore in the first place are complete.

This is making me: sad, happy, scared, excited, calm, wistful, complete, incomplete, stalled, full of momentum.

Hyuh.

There’s one major thing I’ve learned from this decision, but at 2am it turned into a blog post, so you’ll get that on Monday (about the root of worry).

I wanted to get the audio lesson that’s been glaring at me from my iPhone up this week, but, I’ve done a lot of talking, crying, skipping, grinning, staring, clicking, writing, yoga (thanks to Bindu), and, well, I’m cutting myself some slack.

This is not an ordinary week.

The good news for you (I hope) is that I have a brain full of ideas for helpful things to make for you, and I will finally, gods willing, from October onwards, have time and space to make them.

So yay.

And boo.

And yay.

And.. You get the picture.

***

If you please, I would ask that you not try and dissuade me from moving back to England at this time with everything going on.

I already told my Mum. There’s no going back.

You may, however, be pleased for me in the comments, if you wish (along with this week’s noticings, if it please you).

**Normal service resumes next week.**

You’re lovely. Yes, you.

Go on, be off with you. Write something nice in the comments.

Sustainable is HARRRD – Friday Noticings

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:01:45 +0000

Because Fridays are for noticing.

On-topic noticings

~ Sustainability doesn’t come naturally

I’m playing with notions of sustainability at the moment.

Here’s a list I made yesterday:

NOT:

Newsletters
Launches
Price goes up
Powering through
Tense

YES:

Quiet
Sustainable
Involuted (that’s a word from my meditation school – means consciousness turned inward)
My way
Less certain

I then went through the blogging people I read and sorted them based on how nourished and peaceful I feel after reading them. There were some surprises.

I also split my days into teaching days and non-teaching days. And decided what was totally realistic and enough. Then I took a bunch of stuff out. Then I took out some more.

And my hounds of more are still baying – it’s not enough, it’s not enough.

Sustainable. Like the next 20, 30, 50 years…

Changes things, eh?

(Stuff that got me thinking about this:

Charlie Gilkey’s post on playing the long game

Jen Louden’s Satisfaction Finder (bloody great, actually)

Havi Brook’s little bits of wisdom)

~ My Hounds of More want intensity

That’s what they told me when I asked. Intensity, teaching, channelling thunderous power from above, cutting swathes through the world, living a life of meaning.

This post from Jen helped me realise that the Hounds just need direction.

~ Being Buddhish still appeals

(Buddhish is what Bodhipaksa calls me – it’s so true.)

I am very drawn to a lot of people who are drawn to Buddhism. Buddhist emotional education makes a lot of sense to me. My practice overlaps quite a lot, but the ultimate direction is different. Maybe. Still holding the pull between those two.

~ Staring helps

In order to do my best work, being on my own and staring is pretty vital.

I did a lot of pacing around in the pool, swishing my hands about, on holiday last week.

This week I’ve even eaten lunch without reading or listening to anything. That always used to freak me out.

Things must be shifting…

~ The money-for-time thing doesn’t work for creativity

I just had a flash this morning that the nine-hour-day is based on factory production of goods. What I am paid for is totally not like that.

Getting used to that idea.

Meta-blogging noticings

~ LOVING being back.

I am loving my blog, loving you guys, happy happy happy blogger. Happy.

~ A part of me is scared to ask for your money

In Bali last week, I planned and recorded a wee 30-minute audio talk/class/thing about being regaining your awareness in the midddle of a freak-out.

The idea of putting it up my ‘shop’ brought up a whole bunch of this-isn’t-worth-their-money perfectionist shit.

If I haven’t put it up by next Friday, kick me in the ass, eh?

In Other News

~ I want to make a magazine

After reading this by Crys.

~ I want to make the blog into a monthly podcast

After reading this by Crys.

~ I am crushing on Bindu.

Bindu. You know Bindu, right? Her bio. I know.

And I am entering her 21 days of writing/yoga which starts on Tuesday. You want?

~ Canadia

We want to move to Canada. Just putting it out there.

~ Thirty-five

I’m LOVING the thirty-five!

***

So. As stated before, Fridays are for noticing.

Noticed anything this week?

A private love letter

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 14 May 2010 10:41:55 +0000

Dear A Peaceful Resolution

Wow, you make me more conscious just by being you.

Spending this week with you, I am calmer, more connected to Connection, happier, more relaxed, excited and present to the world around me.

Just thought you should know.

I love you.

Andrew

ps I’m so glad we worked things out. I missed you. A x

The ‘Question/answer format? Totally overuse it.’ Version – YoO Friday 5/52

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 11:01:45 +0000

This is the Friday review of week 5 of my Year of Opening (because it’s good to itemize my life notice things).

In which I try to get the ‘Question? Answer.’ format out of my system, but end up just loving it more.

Opening/ calm/conscious/ conflict/ crisis-y type noticings

My first reaction is to get over the feeling

I notice, especially with sadness, that I want to just stop feeling the feeling. Opening to it first is especially hard. The urge to remove my hand from the flame is pretty strong.

Opening in the middle of the night? Harder.

Yeah. Either being uncovered but bitten by mosquitos or covered but sweating like a bastard and sitting up in middle-of-the-night-why-can’t-I-just-sleep despair and still opening?

Hard.

But I did remember to try.

Which is good.

Opening is leading to a funny kind of space

As I practice opening, there’s a weird difficult-to-describe loosening that happens, or rather is in evidence.

Like… hmmm… like an all-over blood-pressure-cuff has just had a little of the air let out of it. Or… like having soaked the pan with the really really burned-on bits and it’s just beginning to let go.

I like it.

It’s anything but dramatic, though.

Subtle.

The Opening Alarm? Wears off.

Well, kind of. I suppose what I need to do is recommit to Opening and have the alarm be a reminder. What I think I was doing was beginning to rely on the alarm, and then forget about it in between.

And I think that waking up, axiomatically, can’t be on auto-pilot.

Finance stuff? Freaks me out a LOT less.

Had a bit of a client potential-crisis this week. And it turned out not to be. And I only panicked for, I don’t know, 10 minutes before getting a grip on reality.

Nice.

Meta-blogging noticings

Comments? Five of them!

Just sayin’.

In-Other-News Noticings

Being paid to write? Feels so RIGHT.

I am being paid to co-write a book at the moment. Involves me interviewing my book-partner, transcribing the words, then editing them into a chapter that makes sense.

LOVE.

It.

It might (shhhhhhhhh, really, shhhh) be my super-power.

(I mean, I know I’m in the honeymoon stage at the moment, but still. Riding the wave.)

My ideal day? Has a nap in it.

As suggested by the Great Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein, I mapped out an ideal, ordinary work-day.

It involved either writing for two to three hours, or talking to a group/running a workshop for two to three hours, then spending the rest of the day reading, napping, chatting.

Lead to some major revelations as I worked out how I might finance that day.

Also, realised today, that, this week, that’s the week I’ve had.

There’s some kind of Zen epiphany in that, but I can’t quite grasp it.

Heh. Heh heh.

Setting up a laptop? Easier the third time.

We had to replace S’s new laptop twice in ten days. Setting up Firefox, Outlook, Photoshop, Open Office, iTunes, importing docs..? All much simpler the third time.

Yes, this is me finding the silver lining.

Doing one procrastinatey thing a day? Plenty.

I have been doing scheduling one reach-out-or-get-in-contact-with-someone task and one thing-I-have-been-meaning-to-do task every day, which means I get about three of each done a week.

You know what?

Despite the protestations of the It’s-Not-Enough monster, it, well, it actually is.

Procrastinatey?

It’s a word. It could be a word.

Two-hour-classes? Cost me nothing.

I ran a two-hour presentation skills workshop for my friend’s acting students this week.

Cost me nothing in terms of energy. No. Thing.

And I enjoyed it.

And so did they.

And we all learned things.

(See perfect day above.)

***

Movies

My Twitter reviews:

Percy Jackson? Rocks! Pretty kids, epic story, Uma, Beany. What’s not to love?

Wolfman? Unleavened, undiluted, inexcusable, bland boring shite. Please save your money.

(See, I can be concise.)

Books

Same as last week. Slow reader, me.

***

So, yeah. It’s a Be Less Certain week next week. Weirdly, my favourite.

Feel free to join in with your noticings in the comments, or not, subscribe, or not, find me on Twitter, or not, and have a good weekend.

Or not.

*grins*

Opening Alarm totally works – YoO Friday 4/52

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:10:18 +0000

Crap. Missed last Friday, and now it’s 10.35pm and all I have is notes on my phone.

This is the Friday review of week 4 of my Year of Opening (because it’s good to make big declarations about lessons learned notice things).

Opening/Calm/Conscious/Conflict/Crisis-y type noticings

My Opening Alarm helps.

Like a lot.

Every hour on the hour I ask myself (through my phone alarm): Opening?
Just that reminder is helping me to worry less (as by bringing myself into the present moment, it interrupts unexamined thoughts), to notice what I’m feeling and to practice opening.

I highly recommend it.

Opening isn’t about being calm

‘Learned’ this lesson again this week. Sometimes I have to open to a wide range of emotions, some of them at the same time as each other. The alarm helps with reminding me that just because I’m feeling worried, stressed, scared, pissed off… that it doesn’t mean I can’t open.

Thinking about what my feelings want is great, so far

I know I already talked about this here, but, well, I think there should be at least 3 noticings, right?

Meta-blogging noticings

I’ve got a bit of a writing rhythm

I get a lot of writing done on the bus and in cabs, sitting on benches in malls…

Seems to be that I plan a post in my head, make notes on my phone, type it into a text document, stick it in WordPress, format it a bit, preview once for mad typos and non-sequiturs, then hit Publish.

Doesn’t feel like writing is costing me anything.

Which is nice.

Internal Editor? Not so much these days.

Continuing that train of thought, there is much less interference from the Internal Editor.

But he is there a bit.

Since I asked for feedback this week and got it, he’s starting to feel a little nervous. Had to do a wee bit of work on that today.

In-other-news noticings

Twitter is the most rad office ever

I started off with Twitter and found it really distracting. Now that I am a bit more discerning as to who I follow, it’s great. I followed back a whole bunch of people this week, and because I was checking each one to see if they used Twitter in a similar way to me, I am excited to see them in my stream.

Feels like I’ve gathered a great ‘group’ of people around me. Because, face it, Twitter is my office. It’s where I get banter, feedback, entertainment, brain-rest, news… Works for me.

(In fact, I’m thinking of running a class…)

I’m a professional writer

Yep, I’m being paid to write. And good money too. I think that means I’m a professional writer, right?

Loving my Kindle

Largely for the percentage gauge, getting books NOW and for the ability to highlight things and have them appear in a text doc. How cool is that?

Er, very.

***

Books

Finished:

~ On Being Certain (Rad.)
~ Summer Knight (What can I say? Supernatural detective novels relax my brain.)

Actively reading:

~ Searching for Memory – Daniel Schachter. (Extremely interesting, already.)
~ Death Masks – Jim Butcher (See Summer Knight, above.)
~ A gazillion blogs.

Movies

~ 14 Blades - Save me from Chinese historical martial arts war movies. I fell asleep, like, nine times.

~ It’s Not Me I Swear – cried my eyes out at this one – hit the soft spot. Lovely lovely acting from the kids.

~ The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus – don’t fall asleep in a Terry Gilliam movie. You’re never quite sure you ever woke up.

***

This week:

Much typing. End-of-year finances. Teaching some acting students presentation skills.

***

Feel free to leave a tiny noticing, too.

Otherwise see ya after the weekend.

And for those of you it’s appropriate to, gong xi fa cai!

Calm is overrated – YoO Friday 2/52

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:36:38 +0000

So, huh, the second week of my Year of Opening was really quite challenging.

Here’s my Friday roundup because scaring the bejeesus out of myself with uncertainty noticing can be reassuring useful.

Opening/calm/conscious/conflict/crisis-y type Noticings

Drama probably means I’ve hit a Thing and don’t realise it

The crisis part of the spiritual-crisis from this week has subsided and left me seeing a great big Thing that I didn’t know was there.

Comfort can mean all sorts of things

There’s a difference between comfort that means I’m avoiding things/taking the safe option/running away and the feeling of warmth that comes from being gentle on myself.

I can be happy

There have been times this week where I’ve felt happy and on-track. Not like all the time but plenty enough to see that it’s a distinct possibility.

Listening is different for a Talker

As a talker, shutting up and listening means I have to let ‘opportunities’ to speak/add value/be witty go by. That realisation again that the conversation carries on.

Opening doesn’t mean feeling good

I feel the pull towards being ‘calm’.

I feel the pull when I’m feeling sad/lost to feel not-sad, not-lost.

Staying with the feeling, opening to it, moving a foot or an inch towards it (rather than away from it) takes some guts/balls/chutzpah.

Reminds me of Pema (my Buddhist-nun-crush-window-into-Buddhism) saying that we avoid even the tiniest bit of edginess/boredom. The job is to keep your seat – stay present. (I did this last night when I found evidence of the Thing – overwhelming restlessness in my gut – proud that I stayed open to it even though it was 2am. Good Opening Boy.)

Meta-blogging Noticings

I am very happy writing as me.

Very. Happy. Internal Expert seems to have given up the fight. Good, eh?

Calm – hmmm…

If you’re reading this on RSS/email, you won’t have seen the site tagline:

Calm and conscious in conflict and crisis.

I’m no longer sure about this calm thing. Might mean suppressing, or annoying smugness.

So today’s tagline is:

Staying open and useful in conflict and crisis.

Can’t guarantee that’s going to last, but…

In-other-news Noticings

Wake up!

Want some writing that’s like jumping into crisp-cold-stream-water? Read this post by Havi Brooks on her dead friend. Cheerier than it sounds.

The Seth writes like your favourite sandwich

Now, I’m not a die-hard Seth Godin fan. I haven’t read everything he’s written and don’t always agree.

He does however write so it just goes in, goes down. Linchpin, his new-this-week book, is very interesting – how you can’t be a cog anymore, but have to be indispensable. I feel a Lazy Book Review coming on.

Oh, and here’s me mentioned in the same breath as Seth. Made me smile, anyway.

Still reading:

~ On Being Certain – Robert Burton
~ Summer Knight – Jim Butcher
~ Dirty Little Secrets – Why Buyers Can’t Buy and Sellers Can’t Sell – Sharon Drew Morgen
~ Start Where You Are – Pema Chödrön
~ Linchpin – Seth Godin

Movies

~ Legion – hilarious, scary but surprising how little power the Creator of the Universe has.
~ Daybreakers – very satisfying vampire movie. Apparently rated-age-16 is about as scary as I can handle.
~ Knight’s Tale – Enough with the jousting already.

Signed up for

Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein’s 4 Weeks to Video. Looks groovy, and was half-price when I signed up.

***

It’s a Handling/Dealing with/Managing Emotions week next week.

Also S’s birthday week and I might be teaching two days, so expect less prolificness (yes, that’s a word).

See ya there.

(Your noticings always welcome in the comments, but not required.)

Opening is often about closing – YoO Friday 1/52

Andrew Lightheart — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:40:49 +0000

I’ve been putting up a Friday list for a while, detailing what I’m noticing about what I’m learning as I work on being more calm and conscious, and as I implement some of my own advice (!).

Seems to be really useful to check in once a week, and so I’m carrying on with this, especially for my Year of Opening, so the number is reset to week one.

Because learning noticing is important can be helpful.

Opening/conscious/calm/conflict/crisis-y type noticings

I’m closing ALL the time.

I started making a list on my phone of all the times I was closing…

You know: in the movie queue going off into impatience, at 7-11 when I’m 40 cents off the Visa limit…

Stopped after about an hour because – I’m always closing.

Unattended, my mind constantly wants to be somewhere slightly different, feeling something slightly different, doing something slightly different.

I am finding that I can bring myself back into the moment a bit easier now (with The Steps) but it’s been a big realisation.

Noticing when I’m closing brings my Things into sharp relief

For example, there I was at my friend Natasha’s open mike night (a community event for people to say something in words with a willing audience).

And I realise that I’m not totally present.

Do you know why not?

I’m taking responsibility for everyone there having a good time.

Yup.

I’m that important.

Noticed this one over Christmas too, and when we have parties, and basically whenever I’m with a group of people.

But… by getting aware of my surroundings, then feeling what I’m feeling, I can spot when I have a Thing easier.

‘Sgood.

You have to learn to open to closing

So, part of aiming to open has to involve opening to closing, it means feeling myself go into a Thing and still open to myself.

Provides a very interesting and nourishing sort-of contradiction.

YoO cheers me up

The abbreviation. YoO! Stops me feeling so self-important.

Meta-blogging noticings

The Family Feud post is not getting written

Yeah – I want to tell you all about what happened in December with my cousins – a happy story and one where I had to use every paperclip-weight of non-freakoutery that I know to not turn it into drama.

Thing is – I think I’ve created this idea of this epic post in my head, and now I’m scared I’m not going to live up to it.

Are you there, Internal Expert? It’s me, Andrew.

Take a break, eh?

I sound like me

I spoke to a friend of mine the other day, and I found out that she reads my blog (Hey Jill!).

She said I sound exactly like me in my writing.

This makes me very happy.

So, if you haven’t met me in person – this is how I sound…

In-other-news noticings

I’m having a bit of a quite a major crisis of faith

I have been meditating with the same meditation school for over 6 years, pretty much every day.

AND… I’ve been finding a lot of comfort, support, and home in the Buddhist writings that I’ve been reading/listening to over the past couple of months.

I might want to step away from my current spiritual direction.

How do you know when it’s a distraction or an awakening?

No really – how do you know?

Yeah.

Movies:

~ Avatar – a watershed in terms of effects, but the plot was the old White Guy goes native, fulfils a prophecy & saves the day. Again.

~ New York I Love You – romantic, sexy loveliness and a total ad for the city. And smoking.

~ Vampire’s Assistant - big lame fun.

~ It’s Complicated – Meryl is fantastic, Steve Martin has had too much work done, Alec Baldwin not enough (my eyes!). And, er, why does she need a new kitchen?

Reading:

~ On Being Certain – Robert Burton
~ Summer Knight – Jim Butcher
~ Dirty Little Secrets – Why Buyers Can’t Buy and Sellers Can’t Sell – Sharon Drew Morgen
~ Start Where You Are – Pema Chödrön

Considering:

~ Dynamics of Conflict – Bernard Mayer
~ The Feeling of What Happens – Antonio Damasio
~ How We Decide – Jonah Lehrer
~ Searching For Memory: The Brain, The Mind, And The Past – Daniel L. Schacter
~ Daemon – Daniel Suarez

***

So… It’s back to a Be Less Certain week next week. Yay.

Have a good weekend, lovely people.