From the category archives:

Shut up and listen

Don’t let your thoughts fool you

For a few weeks now we’ve been discussing how to stop interrupting, with some exciting (to me anyway) debates/observations going on in the comments. One of the things that interrupters (myself included) give as a reason for interrupting is that thoughts occur to them and they are worried that they will forget them if they [...]

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The ugly truth of why I interrupt

I finally know why I interrupt. Bear with me. The arroganceconfidencehumilitylowselfesteem scale There’s confidence and there’s humility. Right? Both admirable in their way. Then, there are their shadow cousins: arrogance and low-self-esteem/self-hate/make-me-invisible. So, yes, humility can be taken to an unhealthy extreme – and I know there are plenty of people who would love the [...]

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How interrupters get conversation wrong

So,  fellow Interrupters. Complete this sentence: Conversation is for… Here’s some of my immediate, genuinely just-out-of-my-fingers uncensored answers: Conversation is for company Conversation is for saying what’s on your mind Conversation is for making people like you Conversation is to get things out there Conversation is to get input on things Zowee. No wonder I [...]

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The 10 unconscious beliefs of the interrupter

I’m thinking that if as a recovering interrupter I can become conscious of my beliefs about conversation, perhaps I can learn how to stop interrupting and how to actually start listening. Here’s what I have so far… What interrupters (unconsciously) believe It is important that I say what is in my head. If I don’t [...]

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How to stop interrupting people – an experiment

If you’ve ever spent more than three minutes with me in a relaxed setting, you’ll know one thing: I’m a talker. Even worse: I’m an interrupter. Terrible. I am very aware that I want to be more of a listener, but I just don’t know how. I do listen, but as I listen, I find [...]

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The One Freak-Out Rule

I’m instituting a new rule experiment (seeing as it’s a listening week). If someone else is freaking out, shut up and listen. In other words, you’re only allowed to freak out if the other person isn’t. Fear and anger make listening hard I’m noticing that when I’m feeling one of the adrenalin emotions (fear, anger, [...]

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The Tell-Me-More Buffer

Of course, I know the benefit of listening. Gives space for more meaning to come in, helps people feel heard (duh) and there was that realisation that when people are speaking they’re saying something. You might have also caught the fact that I think active listening is evil. However. I am looking at how I [...]

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Shut Up and Listen

Before I get into expert mode, a little self-importance-balloon-popping. Disclaimer-type story This year me and some friends were discussing Lent. One friend was giving up chocolate. I said I might give up interrupting people. My friends literally laughed until they cried. So, yeah – I’ve got a lot to learn about listening. Here are, however, [...]

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