This is where I rip off am inspired by Havi Brook’s Friday Chicken.
Because learning lessons noticing is important.
***
This week I was watching the words I’ve been using.
I have one main noticing about this.
Conflict-y type noticings
Speaking mindfully is most often about not speaking at all
Having paid attention to the words I’m saying even more than I usually do, I noticed that:
Speaking mindfully, more often than not, makes me not say the thing that wants to bubble out of my mouth.
So much of what I want to blurt out is totally not applicable after five minutes.
Which is kind of unexpected as I thought it would be more about the words I choose.
I need to make sure that I don’t splurge over other people
When I’m freaking out, I deal with it quite well if I give myself time. Sometimes that means going for a walk and getting my head sorted. It’s not fair that I expect People That Care About Me to deal with my freak out without them freaking out.
Sovereignty – ow & wow
I listened to Hiro Boga’s call on Sovereignty. Sovereignty is (in my words) the idea that everything within six foot of me (literally, energetically and metaphorically) is mine to do with as I please. It’s my domain, my kingdom. It’s up to me what I say, how I feel, and not anyone else’s business.
Tiny but enormous concept.
And as someone who’s boundaries were a bit invaded as a child, this is actually a revolutionary idea. I notice that I read that someone likes something, does things in a particular way, feels strongly about something and if I like/admire them, I feel such a strong pull to agree or do the same.
Sovereignty means I can do things my own way without asking for permission.
Or at least I can aspire to get to that place.
And in the meantime, I can be aware of how I get swayed and watch the swaying.
Admitting I’m in a strop? Helps.
Although I find this difficult, admitting that I’m grumpy or having a reaction, rather than denying it, actually allows some space, and interrupts the chain. Secrecy seems to be part of the pattern.
In-other-news noticings
Here’s where I write amusing and insightful things about the rest of my life.
Or it’s where I feel jet-lagged and don’t.
Oh, yeah, it’s the second.
Question
I currently have 75 cards each with a topic for a blog post (some of them are categories). The list is growing as I write SMS drafts on my phone, take notes on my iTouch, oh my god there’s so much to write.
Is it ok to write things in advance – like, way in advance?
Thinking about it, it’s the lack of transparency that bothers me.
So
Declaration
If I’ve written a post in advance, I’ll tell you.
***
I’m in England for a month.
I love potatoes, cheese and bread.
Must keep walking every day. Must. Keep. Walking.
***
I feel like there must be more to write, but I’m balancing this with many, many seeing-the-family duties, so that’s all I got for now.
If you’re subscribed, I’m totally thrilled. Totally. In a way I never was before. I suppose because you’re getting something that’s closer to me here than I’ve ever revealed before, including posts that I suspect might be lame, and yet get comments and tweeted on Twitter and emails and stuff.
The Inner Expert is having a hard time. I suppose I should be a little easier on him.
Anyway – thanks.
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