One of the things that everyone, Buddhist or scientist or whatever-psychology-ist, agrees on is that the mind draws a conclusion from sparse data, and, left to its own devices, it then looks for evidence that confirms that conclusion.
It’s one of the things that leads us to brilliant discoveries and also that makes us bombastic stick-in-the-muds. If not both at the same time.
On Saturday we went bowling with some friends and colleagues.
I had the pleasure of watching my mind create and support a superstition.
I haven’t been bowling for well over a decade, and there were people there I wanted to impress, or at least who I had to be a good sport in front of. Damn you testosterone.
I tried a few balls only to find that my fingers didn’t fit in the holes, and settled on a big ol’ 11, thinking vaguely that a bigger ball would make my chances better. Besides, it’s so heavy.
I was lucky enough to be sharing a lane with my friend’s son, who is six or seven or so. Just us two, so there was barely 90 seconds between… rounds? (WHAT? I’m meant to know the terminology now?)
My first few… shots?… ranged from gutterballs, to strikes, and everything in between.
Once or twice I tried a 10 ball, but didn’t do very well.
So I went back to the 11.
And of course, in amongst the mix of results, were some very stylish strikes.
From the 11 ball.
Tried the 10 once more.
No good.
I watched it happen: my mind went ‘Oh, it’s the 11.’
And of course, the more I used the 11, the better I got (nothing to do with practicing for the first time in 10 years, or anything.)
And after a while, I didn’t want to test the conclusion, what with the cheering I was getting for the good shots. If it’s not broken, why fix it, right?
And, there you have it. A new religion is born. Maybe I should write an e-book.
As I’m working on getting less certain about my conclusions about stuff, I’m thinking that I’m going to need to face this more and more.
And not just with Saturday afternoon superstitions but with everything.
Some recent examples:
- I get so little done when I’m working all day, that less pressure surely means even fewer results, right?
- People should blog on a regular basis, right?
- Eating less food will make me lose weight. Right?
- We get amazing results from our class, and I’m exhausted at the end of the day. If I put less in, the results will drop.
- If I like someone, I should read and comment on all of their blog posts.
- If I’m not anxious, people won’t know I’m taking their concerns seriously.
Right?
Right?
So much to question.
What are you getting less certain about? Any superstitions hiding away?
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Mmmm, I love it!
Let’s see…. mine are:
Everything in the house has to be perfect and put away before I can meditate.
And I have to meditate at “meditation time” — if I miss it, I can’t meditate later (cuz that would just be *wrong*).
If I ask for what I need in a straightforward way people will think I’m a bitch.
If no one comments on my blog post it means it was stupid.
Whew. That felt good.
I’m sure there are more hiding, but what a great start. Thanks, Andrew!!
(oh, and I’m *sure* it’s the 11!)
Hey Michelle
I know the There Is A Time For Meditation one. In fact, was guilty of it this morning!
(Oh and the No Comments Means It’s Stupid one too yay this one wasn’t stupid!)
Glad to have you here….
Twitter: victoriashmoria
The birth of a religion! Such a perfect example.
Some of the big ones I’m working on lately have to do with what I *think* others expect of me. And what I *think* will happen if I don’t meet their expectations.
Very similar to Michelle’s “If I ask for what I need in a straightforward way people will think I’m a bitch.”
Another biggie? If I need to make more money, then I need to work more hours. That just doesn’t hold true once you are starting a business, yet it’s so hard to shake.
You really got me thinking about this…
Glad to get you thinking…
I think it links quite well with your recent article, right? I think you were already thinking…
(For those of you that didn’t Victoria’s most recent, hie thee thither: http://www.victoriabrouhard.com/when-the-thing-becomes-too-important/ )
Twitter: slackermomspeak
Hmmm. Interesting. I hadn’t really thought about this (but now I will). I have lots of them I think. Michele’s no comments on the blog post thing is a big one for me right now. I just got myself over the “I can’t put up a website until I have a logo and I can’t get a logo until I hire a designer and I can’t hire a designer until I have money . . .” thing. Today, despite the terror involved, I put up an ok website so that I have something there that isn’t the 1/2 naked GoDaddy girls. I’ll get a logo and a well-designed website . . . eventually. But right now, good enough needs to be good enough. Surprisingly, despite my fears, the Earth hasn’t spun out of orbit. Amazing.
Jessica – The amount of times I have been surprised at the disconnect between, er, less than brilliant things I have done on the internet and the world’s orbit maintenance…
Sheesh – I think it’s the feeling of public scrutiny that can throw us seriously off if we’re not careful.
Good enough is so often, well, good enough.
(Please remind me of this next time I’m whining about my Inner Perfectionist… )