Comments on: Shut Up and Listen

By: Andrew Lightheart

Andrew Lightheart — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:48:46 +0000

@ Mahala – Interesting that listening takes more cognitive load than talking. *stores that away*

@Sherron – conversational doorjambs – LOOK OUT! Eep.

@Maya- Sheesh, I thought it was just me.

By: Maya

Maya — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 05:10:10 +0000

Hi Andrew,
I am SOOO appreciating your way of wording things, your intention in supporting people to learn more about themselves and about what they bring to the table in conversation – and really everything in life.

I especially liked how you said you are more likely to interrupt when tired, hungry or grumpy – I can TOTALLY relate – and this is so true!

Sidenote: I visited you on twitter and I thought I was the only one that said, “Sheesh!” (haven’t tweeted it yet but I do say it – often)

By: Sherron

Sherron — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:15:47 +0000

Listening is hard work, dad-gum it! I know I’m guilty of masquerading as a listener. I realize I’ve gone off the deep end when I feel like my little cocker spaniel. He always walked in front of me, having some deep-seated need to get wherever we were going first. He was often unsure which way we were going, so he’d turn his head back toward me to make sure I was going the right way…all while still moving forward, mind you. He ran into a lot of walls and door jambs. Sometimes I feel like that. I thought I knew where the conversation was going, so I jumped right in, but then WHAM! I ran into a door jamb. Not pretty.

By: Mahala Mazerov

Mahala Mazerov — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:05:37 +0000

Back when I taught preschool we were trained in “active listening.” It was actually pretty effective on my four-year-olds. Then one of the other teachers used it on me. Eeeeeeeew. It wasn’t heartfelt listening at all, more like manipulation to make you think I’m listening. End of active listening.

I know I have a problem with interrupting people. I have a head injury and listening takes so much more cognitive attention than babbling out of your own mouth. It’s not intentional by any means, but I know I interrupt when my brain just can’t take it anymore. Knowing the why doesn’t make it fell any better though.

By: Andrew Lightheart

Andrew Lightheart — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:14:41 +0000

Ah – listening over the holidays – there’s an article waiting to be written!

Thanks for subscribing – fills me with glee being a re-born new blogger!

By: Kathleen Avins

Kathleen Avins — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:19:41 +0000

I can certainly relate to this! When I interrupt others, it often seems to be coming from a place of anxiety or insecurity, with a subtext along the lines of, “Yes, yes, I know! I understand you, already! See how smart and/or empathic I am? Like me, please, please like me!”

Yeah. Not pretty, is it?

With the holiday season just around the bend, it feels like an excellent time for me to focus on listening, and opening, and trusting. Thanks for the inspiration! I’ve just become a subscriber, and will look forward to reading more.