In order to have a coherent experience, we have to delete 99.9% of the data coming into our system from our conscious awareness.
If we saw and experienced it all, we would go crazy.
Yet we go in to situations with parts of us so certain.
Certain of what’s happened, what’s been said, what people are thinking…
Certain of what’s likely to happen.
Certain of what’s right or wrong, good or bad, how things should be.
Here’s a suggestion.
Presume you only know 10%.
How would you behave if you were missing 90% of the data in the situation?
(Because you are…)
Do you really know what the other person is feeling? What their intentions were when they said that?
What if your memory turns out to not be quite accurate? It happens in eyewitness testimony all the time.
10 per cent…
Comments: Ah, the comments, how I love ‘em. Think of a situation you’re in right now. What if it turned out you were missing most of the key information? How might that change things?
Comment policy:
(a) Half-baked, unfinished thoughts very welcome. Systems With Capital Letters? Not so much.
(b) Be nice.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: discoverleecofl
I like to be pleasantly surprised when I go to a places, so I really do try to no be certain of all the “facts” before I go. I find living with surprise is more fun than being certain.
Lisa Newton´s last post… Discover Lee County Video of the Week
‘Living with surprise… ‘ – like it!”
Twitter: simonebernhard
Wow this is huge and just what I needed to hear! So glad you’re back, and with such great goods! X O
Twitter: simonebernhard
So weird that I read this at first thinking I could only put it to use in the workplace. Not sure why I put that mental filter on, but it’s off now! Holy moly is this gonna help me with current man stuff! WOOO
Chicsinger simone´s last post… Bridal foof FTW
Heh. Well, I’m kind of writing it from a work perspective, but the patterns are the same no matter the context.
(And it’s good to be back!)
Twitter: darxyanne
I’m thinking of a situation, and I am trying to imagine I don’t know the whole story, that 90% of what is going on is out of my ken, butbutbut!!! The 10% I saw/heard/experienced?! So hard!! Imagining 90% more iceberg submerged beneath the surface isn’t a huge comfort. I know that comfort might not be the point, but it seems like such a prerequisite for peace to me. Thoughts?
Darcy´s last post… I am here.
I know I know.
I think I mean we might need to be a bit humble, especially about others’ intentions, and the bigger picture. I don’t mean that the situation is 9x worse than we think.
Thanks for your honesty – if I’m going to work with people on deliberate uncertainty, then I will probably have to address the squinchiness that sometimes results!
Twitter: darxyanne
Ah, okay, I think that helps. Assume good (or self-protective or best-they-can-do) intentions are making up the rest of that iceberg? That helps. I think I will try out this mantra: the iceberg is love!
Darcy´s last post… I am here.
Whatever works!
I’ll be writing a lot.more. about deliberate uncertainty in the coming weeks/months so maybe that will make it clearer.