One of the most life-altering books I have read in recent times is Robert Burton’s On Being Certain.
In it, he shows how certainty is just a sensation. Yet, we trust this sensation beyond any kind of appeal to reason. We ‘just know’.
It seems to me that certainty is the at the root of a great deal of conflict, crisis and stress.
We go in certain that we are right, or at least certain about the appropriateness of aspects of our approach to the topic.
Think about the last altercation/argument/disagreement you had with someone.
You knew what the real problem was, right? You were being relatively sane, whilst they were being somewhat inflexible, right? You pretty much knew what the right solution was, right?
The kicker: they ‘knew’ that too.
The more certain we are, the more we push, the more the other person pushes back, etcetera, etcetera…
Reverse debating
The skills of rhetoric and critical thinking that we learn in order to ‘win’ arguments turn out to be pointed in the wrong direction.
You don’t bring things to a level of resolution by being more certain of your perspective.
The key is to point those critical thinking tools at your own thinking.
How might you be wrong?
What data have you deleted/distorted?
Where might you have got the wrong end of the stick?
It’s like reverse debating.
And there’s magic in it.
Weird but true.
(Certainty also plays a role in the problematic emotions we feel. We’ll get to that later…)
Comments: I love comments. Uncertainty, eh? What’s your reaction to hearing you need to be less certain? Thoughts… type ‘em!
Comment policy:
(a) Half-baked, unfinished thoughts very welcome. Systems With Capital Letters? Not so much.
(b) Be nice.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: darxyanne
My half-baked thought is just that I’m thrilled that you’re posting again
Darcy´s last post… I am here.
Twitter: kmdk
I’m kinda freaked out at how you seem to have crept into my state of mind with these posts. All are resonating at varying degrees. All are easily digested, too. And like good chocolate, I park them and let them melt into my brain cells to see what happens. Well, chocolate I let melt on my tongue, but you get the metaphor.
Seriously, you’re onto something that is so relevant and yet in my experience, is so rarely discussed. The technicalities of work – mastering the photocopier or Windows 7 – are quickly learned. The interactions in the human sphere are taken for granted, and boy, are they crucial – more crucial and more critical than some computer crash. Thank you for starting A Peaceful Resolution. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful blog…
Karen Mardahl´s last post… Let’s talk and teach, not fight, about accessibility
I write it all just for you, Karen.
(I hear you thinking…)
Twitter: kmdk
I knew it. I knew it!
Karen Mardahl´s last post… Let’s talk and teach, not fight, about accessibility