So, huh, the second week of my Year of Opening was really quite challenging.
Here’s my Friday roundup because scaring the bejeesus out of myself with uncertainty noticing can be reassuring useful.
Opening/calm/conscious/conflict/crisis-y type Noticings
Drama probably means I’ve hit a Thing and don’t realise it
The crisis part of the spiritual-crisis from this week has subsided and left me seeing a great big Thing that I didn’t know was there.
Comfort can mean all sorts of things
There’s a difference between comfort that means I’m avoiding things/taking the safe option/running away and the feeling of warmth that comes from being gentle on myself.
I can be happy
There have been times this week where I’ve felt happy and on-track. Not like all the time but plenty enough to see that it’s a distinct possibility.
Listening is different for a Talker
As a talker, shutting up and listening means I have to let ‘opportunities’ to speak/add value/be witty go by. That realisation again that the conversation carries on.
Opening doesn’t mean feeling good
I feel the pull towards being ‘calm’.
I feel the pull when I’m feeling sad/lost to feel not-sad, not-lost.
Staying with the feeling, opening to it, moving a foot or an inch towards it (rather than away from it) takes some guts/balls/chutzpah.
Reminds me of Pema (my Buddhist-nun-crush-window-into-Buddhism) saying that we avoid even the tiniest bit of edginess/boredom. The job is to keep your seat – stay present. (I did this last night when I found evidence of the Thing – overwhelming restlessness in my gut – proud that I stayed open to it even though it was 2am. Good Opening Boy.)
Meta-blogging Noticings
I am very happy writing as me.
Very. Happy. Internal Expert seems to have given up the fight. Good, eh?
Calm – hmmm…
If you’re reading this on RSS/email, you won’t have seen the site tagline:
Calm and conscious in conflict and crisis.
I’m no longer sure about this calm thing. Might mean suppressing, or annoying smugness.
So today’s tagline is:
Staying open and useful in conflict and crisis.
Can’t guarantee that’s going to last, but…
In-other-news Noticings
Wake up!
Want some writing that’s like jumping into crisp-cold-stream-water? Read this post by Havi Brooks on her dead friend. Cheerier than it sounds.
The Seth writes like your favourite sandwich
Now, I’m not a die-hard Seth Godin fan. I haven’t read everything he’s written and don’t always agree.
He does however write so it just goes in, goes down. Linchpin, his new-this-week book, is very interesting – how you can’t be a cog anymore, but have to be indispensable. I feel a Lazy Book Review coming on.
Oh, and here’s me mentioned in the same breath as Seth. Made me smile, anyway.
Still reading:
~ On Being Certain – Robert Burton
~ Summer Knight – Jim Butcher
~ Dirty Little Secrets – Why Buyers Can’t Buy and Sellers Can’t Sell – Sharon Drew Morgen
~ Start Where You Are – Pema Chödrön
~ Linchpin – Seth Godin
Movies
~ Legion – hilarious, scary but surprising how little power the Creator of the Universe has.
~ Daybreakers – very satisfying vampire movie. Apparently rated-age-16 is about as scary as I can handle.
~ Knight’s Tale – Enough with the jousting already.
Signed up for
Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein’s 4 Weeks to Video. Looks groovy, and was half-price when I signed up.
***
It’s a Handling/Dealing with/Managing Emotions week next week.
Also S’s birthday week and I might be teaching two days, so expect less prolificness (yes, that’s a word).
See ya there.
(Your noticings always welcome in the comments, but not required.)
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