This is the Friday review of week 5 of my Year of Opening (because it’s good to itemize my life notice things).

In which I try to get the ‘Question? Answer.’ format out of my system, but end up just loving it more.

Opening/ calm/conscious/ conflict/ crisis-y type noticings

My first reaction is to get over the feeling

I notice, especially with sadness, that I want to just stop feeling the feeling. Opening to it first is especially hard. The urge to remove my hand from the flame is pretty strong.

Opening in the middle of the night? Harder.

Yeah. Either being uncovered but bitten by mosquitos or covered but sweating like a bastard and sitting up in middle-of-the-night-why-can’t-I-just-sleep despair and still opening?

Hard.

But I did remember to try.

Which is good.

Opening is leading to a funny kind of space

As I practice opening, there’s a weird difficult-to-describe loosening that happens, or rather is in evidence.

Like… hmmm… like an all-over blood-pressure-cuff has just had a little of the air let out of it. Or… like having soaked the pan with the really really burned-on bits and it’s just beginning to let go.

I like it.

It’s anything but dramatic, though.

Subtle.

The Opening Alarm? Wears off.

Well, kind of. I suppose what I need to do is recommit to Opening and have the alarm be a reminder. What I think I was doing was beginning to rely on the alarm, and then forget about it in between.

And I think that waking up, axiomatically, can’t be on auto-pilot.

Finance stuff? Freaks me out a LOT less.

Had a bit of a client potential-crisis this week. And it turned out not to be. And I only panicked for, I don’t know, 10 minutes before getting a grip on reality.

Nice.

Meta-blogging noticings

Comments? Five of them!

Just sayin’.

In-Other-News Noticings

Being paid to write? Feels so RIGHT.

I am being paid to co-write a book at the moment. Involves me interviewing my book-partner, transcribing the words, then editing them into a chapter that makes sense.

I.

LOVE.

It.

It might (shhhhhhhhh, really, shhhh) be my super-power.

(I mean, I know I’m in the honeymoon stage at the moment, but still. Riding the wave.)

My ideal day? Has a nap in it.

As suggested by the Great Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein, I mapped out an ideal, ordinary work-day.

It involved either writing for two to three hours, or talking to a group/running a workshop for two to three hours, then spending the rest of the day reading, napping, chatting.

Lead to some major revelations as I worked out how I might finance that day.

Also, realised today, that, this week, that’s the week I’ve had.

There’s some kind of Zen epiphany in that, but I can’t quite grasp it.

Heh. Heh heh.

Setting up a laptop? Easier the third time.

We had to replace S’s new laptop twice in ten days. Setting up Firefox, Outlook, Photoshop, Open Office, iTunes, importing docs..? All much simpler the third time.

Yes, this is me finding the silver lining.

Doing one procrastinatey thing a day? Plenty.

I have been doing scheduling one reach-out-or-get-in-contact-with-someone task and one thing-I-have-been-meaning-to-do task every day, which means I get about three of each done a week.

You know what?

Despite the protestations of the It’s-Not-Enough monster, it, well, it actually is.

Procrastinatey?

It’s a word. It could be a word.

Two-hour-classes? Cost me nothing.

I ran a two-hour presentation skills workshop for my friend’s acting students this week.

Cost me nothing in terms of energy. No. Thing.

And I enjoyed it.

And so did they.

And we all learned things.

(See perfect day above.)

***

Movies

My Twitter reviews:

Percy Jackson? Rocks! Pretty kids, epic story, Uma, Beany. What’s not to love?

Wolfman? Unleavened, undiluted, inexcusable, bland boring shite. Please save your money.

(See, I can be concise.)

Books

Same as last week. Slow reader, me.

***

So, yeah. It’s a Be Less Certain week next week. Weirdly, my favourite.

Feel free to join in with your noticings in the comments, or not, subscribe, or not, find me on Twitter, or not, and have a good weekend.

Or not.

*grins*

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